The Mum guilt

Yes, it's a real thing, have you ever beaten yourself up about having a career? Not having a career? Headed out to the supermarket to grab one or two things and rushed back as quick as you could? Just in case your husband is ripping his hair out at home while your 3-year-old tantrums about picking the wrong shade of blue out of the crayon packet, or your teen's must-watch YouTube video is buffering because it's peak time and every man and their dog are using the internet?

Then yes that's mum guilt! Heaven forbid you to take more than 5 minutes to drive to the shop 10 minutes away!

Lately, I have noticed myself along with the other mothers I know apologizing for taking time out to focus on personal needs. Mothers, most mothers, tend to put their offspring's needs before their own and this is how it should be, but self-care is just as important. Ask yourself how am I feeling today? Have I taken 5 seconds to just take a deep breath and gather myself from my daily errands?

Between baby groups, cleaning the house and arguments with hormonal teenagers we can often leave our minds to wonder in multiple directions, such as; the weekly meal plans, buying that birthday gift for your daughters friends party this weekend while not forgetting its grandmas 90th birthday this weekend and you still need to ring the venue to clarify the last details about a surprise party you have organised! Just thinking of these things I can feel my head rambling and not focusing on the tasks at hand.

This is something we need to implement into our daily lives, if you don't take that time to enjoy a warm coffee or catch up on that TV show without falling asleep you will become short, snappy and irritable meaning, realistically your going to affect your parenting style and create more mum guilt feeding this vicious cycle.

​​ I have been a victim myself and I'm always actively looking to find the perfect balance. (By no means am I saying I have cracked it... I haven't!) I'm just saying, is it really such a bad thing if you had come home from work, refuelled with some coffee while your child tipped the Lego bucket over their head and recreated an exciting tie-fighter scene from star wars before tackling a row over sprouts, would you have maybe lasted an extra 5 minutes before demanding the husband take over or god forbid you ram it so far down their throat you would get to practice the Heimlich manoeuvrer??

many of times after a veggie row I have found notes about how my daughter hates me more than sprouts accompanied with a rough drawing of me on fire cooking the tea! This results in me crying into yet another glass of wine, feeling like a crappy parent who is failing. Maybe I shouldn't have shouted as much as I did? Do they really need vegetables to be healthy? If only I didn't care so much and let her sit and eat cookies and ice-cream like she begged she would love me back?

Sound familiar?

Well, mums, you don't need to apologize, they don't hate you, they love you. Your their world and their role model.

So the next time you lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes peace and quiet or you sit in the car outside the school just before picking the kids up eating a chocolate bar because you can't remember the last time you didn't share your food, remember its OK. You're not alone and you don't have to apologize for taking some me time and looking after your own sanity.

So stop, put on your big girl panties and have a moan about your little buggers without having to justify how much you love them and they mean the world to you!